Mystery, Unfortunately, Solved.

“When performing,” I told my students.

“If you have two pieces to play, play the sad one first.

After a lonely, mournful melody, whatever follows is brighter.  It doubles its sense of joy. 

Therefore, always play the sad one first.”

I am waiting for my own sense of joy to begin.  I have, certainly, played the sad song first.  And, it went on for weeks.

I discovered something so shocking, that it pierced me.  I could hardly speak.

Some of you may remember a story I had written down a few times.  It was the point of origin for my entire journey of mysticism.  I had been terrorized by a neighborhood bully, which scarred me for life.  Except, that is, what happened the day my mother intervened.

Later, I was taken under the wing by a woman that mentored me for 20 years.  Maybe even longer.  When I met her, on the first day, she mentioned that she had lived in my childhood neighborhood.  I asked her where she lived.

She gave me a mild description, but I couldn’t locate her address.

This woman was my guide.  She helped turn me into the woman I am today.

I have written about her, many times.  I have thanked her privately, and publicly, a multitude of times.  She is nearly 100 years old now.

About a month ago, I had a reason to look at my old neighborhood, and found a way of matching names with street addresses.  It was rather painful to do this, as my memories of this neighborhood weren’t pleasant.

But, of course, curiosity led me.  I wondered about my childhood friends, and was trying to identify their old addresses.

And, that’s where a mystery was, unfortunately, solved.

I discovered that my beloved mentor, lived right next door to my enemy.  And, that she lived there, during the time I was attacked.  She knew this child that tortured me, and her family.

But, she never told me this.  I had asked her several times if she knew that child, and she denied it, continually.

She lied.

This shattered my heart when I realized that my own mentor – had betrayed me.

And, this was the beginning of 3 weeks of sad discoveries.


In music, this was the sad song, that began my symphony.

I am waiting for the joyful movement – to follow….